When She’s Here…

When she’s here, I see new colors. A few mystical beings I’ve glimpsed, as well. Or maybe I just believed I could see them, for a time.

I never knew there were so many shades of blue. I didn’t believe her at first. But then I saw them. The light and dark blues of different skies, the teal of her skirt, the peacock blue eyeliner that brought out flecks of copper in her eyes. I never wanted to smell any god damned roses before and yet she was the only person that could make me stop for a moment and look around.

I never knew life could be so funny.

She makes me laugh and it’s a form of sweet torture. Things I’ll never think to say, so brilliant, so cutting, so wrong, pop out of her mouth. I don’t think she even knows what’s coming. She can be a stone-cold bitch.

And yet, when she finds the mirth, all I can do is clench my sides and try to breathe as unbidden laughter paralyzes me and causes me to shake and roll to the floor as if I’m struck by a seizure. Tears roll down my face from laughter. At least, I think it is from the laughter.

She appeared in my life, smirking. Flitting around the edges of lens like a hyperactive, beautiful butterfly. Mischief powers her eyes. Hope and excitement bubble out of her lips and shine from her gaze.

I’d climb a mountain if she told me to…cross Niagara on a wire. I’d really do it, too. I’d never look down as long as she is there, her eyes boring into mine and commanding me to take my next step.

When I’m with her, I fly higher than I ever thought I could. I believe in myself. In her. In us. And we fly. We fly.

But there comes a time when you have to realize that rainbows can’t be chased. That life isn’t always happy, and one can’t be a child forever. “We aren’t really birds and we can’t pretend to be.” Her face freezes.

“No…I’m sorry,” I say, “I didn’t really mean that. It’s just that there is a time to be a grown up.” That comes out wrong, too.

“You have to decide what you want,” I finally say. “Making the life you have into the best one possible or risking everything you have to find something that is probably a ridiculous fantasy.”

She nods slowly, purposefully, and the sides of her mouth curve up in a smile and her eyes crinkle. But it isn’t a real smile. And she’s not wearing her bohemian clothes and dramatic makeup that she did before. No more multi-colored blues. I don’t even know what the hell color her pewter-looking shirt is supposed to be.

And every day, she’s there a bit less. Her eyes become more and more focused on the horizon although she tries to hide it. I bring her flowers, resplendent with color and so aromatic that my eyes itch and my food tastes funny. She thanks me, with sweet politeness but her eyes smile with patience and tolerance, not joy. And nothing I do can earn me back the looks she used to give me when she was happy. I don’t even think it has anything to do with me anymore. If it ever did.

I don’t know what she’s looking for. I don’t think it exists. Whatever the hell she is looking for doesn’t exist for me and I want to save her from the mistakes she’ll make. From the pain that awaits her. From the pain that awaits me on that day she doesn’t make it home again. She flies too close to the sun, drives too damn fast with no fucking gas money and won’t turn the car around for Jesus himself when she gets lost.

I’ve seen her balancing atop the bridge rail, which keeps the rest of us safe from the river below, as if she’s a girl practicing gymnastics. “My weight is mostly on the bridge side,” she giggles. Fucking hilarious, she is. I think she’d drive her car until it ran out of gas and just keep walking. Singing all the way.

Freedom Pixabay ph-niks-3340515

Maybe she’ll never fall. I hope to god she doesn’t. Life is not a cartoon or a comedy and I don’t think she knows that. Or she chooses not to see it. She doesn’t consider what will happen when she falls and I’m not there to catch her. I’ve seen it before. And she didn’t fall far that time. I lay awake wondering when she’s going to cliff dive on a dare and find she can’t make it to the surface. I bet she thinks the dolphins will save her.

I watch her and know that in her mind she is the star of some overrated Broadway musical. The chorus is booming and the set and dancers sway and urge her toward the life she thinks she is “supposed to have” after settling in a village where she forgot how to sing. I can see it in her face as she bobs her head to a soundtrack I can’t hear. I stare at her in disbelief. She pretends not to notice my incredulous stare, or she doesn’t give a shit.

Because more and more her eyes don’t look back at mine as she gazes long and hard at the horizon. In her coloring-book brain she is driving down a road made of marshmallows in a car fueled by dreams. There is no point in talking to her about the futility of her visions. I’m the evil voice of reality, hell-bent on holding her back. Unless I break out singing and tap dancing, backed by an orchestra, or leprechauns, my words are like some unwanted chatter in the audience. Unconcerned, she continues tapping her feet, hums a peppy tune and stares, concealing a tiny smile, at something fascinating and make-believe on the horizon.


Katya Evangeline (c) 2017

Photo Credit via Pixabay

Sexual Healing

You recline upon my bed, 
the velvet headboard rests your head.

I've waited my whole life for you
and I know you've ached for me.
I was far and you were near
boats wrecked in different seas.

Life lines penned in parallels, I never thought they'd cross.
Perhaps one night can fill the void for all the time we've lost?

Naked, in your lap, 
I gaze into your face.
Long-sought exultation lights your countenance.

I was free, then you were free,
But the stars did not align.
So now we take what's ours 
Regardless of the time.

You gently ease me down 
upon your glistening cock.
Hypnotized I drink you in
Your eyes upon me locked. 

I draw you in so far it hurts
but still I coax you deep.
Give me all your grief and shame
it's no longer yours to keep.

Your knuckles grasp and bruise me, 
grind me down into your hips
You've locked me where you want me, fastened in your grip.

My bronzed arms adorn your neck, 
strong legs enwrap your sides,
let gods and men condem me
my love I will not hide.

Greedily I pummel myself 
upon your chiseled stone.
We consummate, our spirits quake
You impale my flesh with bone.

Regret and anger tinge my joy
but before a tear can fall,
You push me down, 
your thrust so strong 
that falling are my walls.

Your strong hands hold fast my face, 
I cannot look away.
Your cock pounds me mercilessly
my demons being slayed.

Your commanding gaze 
and striking rhythm 
permit me not to wallow.
My mind is blank but my body sings 
as you fill what was once hollow.

You own me now, I'll give you all,
I'll crown you as my Master.
Just please don't stop- Don't ever stop!
my body implores, "Faster!"

You don't stop, you read me well, 
My pleasure mounts and swells…
My stomach, my thighs, 
my shuddering cunt, 
are now devouring fires.

Over and over 
your cock decimates
that sweet spot in my core.
In return I fuck back hard
my being craving, "More!"

You bring me almost to my peak
Mile-high Coaster at its crest,
Time stops then, agonized I wait 
for the Kiss of Little Death.

Over the edge 
You bring that Death,
my world now implodes.
I'm reduced to screams, moans, wails,
as ecstasy explodes.

Orgasm after orgasm consumes me
I'm completely broken down
All that matters is you in me 
Salvation now is found.

You don't pull out but abuse me deeper
until you've had your fill
My cunt becomes your Goddess now
She'll bend you to Her will.

As I take you higher, I'll salve your wounds and hurts.
The road's been long, you've stayed so strong
It's time for your dessert.

You pant and moan 
and yearn and groan
at the height of abject need
My pussy has her way with you 
until enraptured you're set free.

From the Sex-Obsessed Mind of Katya Evangeline

Katya Evangeline © 2017.

“Hot Anal Sex!” VenusAndEros’ Response to “Stay With Me” 

A favorite fellow blogger of mine, erotica writer VenusAndEros wrote a fantastic response to my earlier post Stay With Me.*** I was thrilled to read it, in more ways than one! 😜

I thought it was super hot. Let me know what you think and be sure to check out and follow VenusAndEros’s blog. From what I know about him as a writer, he has been studying women and how to please them for quite some time now…and it shows!

As always, I can’t generalize as to what all women find sexy but I always find VenusAndEros ‘s stories passionate and arousing!

***As an aside, VenusAndEros is part of my network of fellow bloggers and online friends. I’ve interacted with him publicly on other blogs and forums, along with some other bloggers and writers that I know. In other words, I know him. 

I say this because my blog is not an open forum of any sort so if you write a response to any of my posts, please tell me about it in the comment section of my post and/or link back to my post in yours. That way, I and all of my readers can enjoy it and be introduced to your blog! I am not necessarily able to respond to or repost unsolicited submissions or emails.





FROM my fellow sex freak, VenusAndEros….


*Woman, Crushed and Owned

I minimized myself, my words, my presence.

Because they told me I was just *too much.*
Too much person for a small girl’s body,
for a decent woman,
for respectability,
I made myself.
Crushed and
With violence
I folded my limbs
into preassigned boxes.
I surgically removed
parts of me
deemed unacceptable.
With one arm I slowly sawed off
my other gesticulating limb
before consciousness
fled from me.
Through tears and nightmares
I aborted my ebullience
and dreams.
When I was young
I laughed too much,
sang too loud
and said wrong things
I fixed that first.
In trauma and fear
I sanded my throat to shreds
to learn the right whisper.
In blood and terror
I clipped my vocal chords.
I severed them with home-made cleavers
passed down through generations.
With one hand
I clumsily
sutured my lips shut
to cover smiling teeth.
This has been done for ages.
When the head of new life
poked forth from the first womb
they no longer let her hunt.
“Stay at camp, Woman!”
“We own you!” They said.
“We will protect you and your babes
because this is a man’s world.”
“This is for your own good
though you know it not.”
“One day we will let you roam
however you cannot creep far.”
They marked me.
Covered my head.
Made me grow my hair long.
“It is your glory,” They said.
“Your hair is your glory,
as you are the glory
and helper of man.”
They bundled my breasts
hid my legs and
locked up my cunt
until They deemed it worthy of use.
I learned to modify my body,
Strangle myself in corsets.
I unlearned how to walk
after binding my own two feet.
When my uniform
was loosened
my subservience remained.
They reminded me,
“You are Woman.”
“Wear what you like.”
“But if you cannot control the new life that pokes through your womb,
Nor control the days you bleed
Nor learn
That your body
Is yours alone…,
Forever and
We will
Own you.”
Katya Evangeline (c) 2017
Photo Credits:
Heart Photo via FreeImages.com/Marcel Michelini
Blood in Bathroom via FreeImages.com/Carrie White
Bleeding Angel via FreeImages.com/Michelle Kwajafa

 *For the life I me I cannot get WordPress to format this post correctly. It is not supposed to be one large block of text. 

Fantasy Fulfillment

One of the best parts of starting my sex/erotica blog on WordPress is that I have the opportunity to connect with other amazing bloggers and writers.

I have an EXTENSIVE collection of erotic anthologies. So I have a good idea about the types and quality of stories that get published.

I ran across this gem and it was so well-written, well-plotted, interesting, unique and sexy that I have to share it with you!

This story features a younger adult male who adores the body type of a mature, curvy, married woman.

I have the author’s permission to reblog this but I need to follow up with him as to the setting and cultural backgrounds of the characters since I am not familiar with the local dialect.

This is creative, sexy and paints such an interesting slice of life setting.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! 😏

And I *really* *really* did enjoy it. 😉😉😉

That Mind Juice

DAVID, 20s, gets off the rickety danfo bus. He’s a lean young man with a cute, handsome face.

A boy hawking soft drinks attempts to draw his attention.

David ignores him, ambling on, craning his neck in search of something. Or someone.

He arrives at the junction where he spots his quarry.

There she is – MRS CHIKA, late 40s – standing by a stool under a massive umbrella, selling roasted plantain and ground-nuts.

David inspects some Nollywood home video CDs for sale, laid out on a mat, though in truth he’s spying on Mrs Chika.

Mrs Chika is wearing a loose-fitting red dress that reaches her knees. The dress – despite how roomy it is – fails to hide her amazingly curvaceous figure – a set of large, firm breasts, and buttocks that shake so vigorously it’s almost as if she’s dancing every time she walks.

Mrs Chika packs…

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Feminists who Love Porn, Rough Sex, BDSM and Other Maligned Evils

“My sexuality is not a brochure for my political views: it’s how I fuck. It doesn’t model my values; it just gets me off, and it gets me off no where other than the bedroom. -Samara, Samara Speaks.

Samara’s post below, paints in beautiful, broad brush strokes how she, as a female feminist, can LOVE LOVE LOVE SEX, ROUGH SEX, KINK, PORN, BDSM and other often maligned practices and she’ll tell you all about it.

And its fucking lovely.

Samara really puts it all out there, even sharing that she was once a victim of sexual assault but yet finds freedom and pleasure in things that folks often intrinsically link to promoting victimhood and rape culture.

If you want to read Samara’s smart Rant, please scroll to the the bottom of the post click (it *should* be there…but it isn’t so I will need to fix that!) so just follow the link below!

Porn, Power, Pain and Feminism

Samara’s post dovetails nicely with some SEXY, EROTIC and sometimes CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS I believe in STRONGLY.

I’ll come back to these issues but here they are!

1). Traditional stereotypes about who wants or doesn’t want sex are wrong, outdated and harmful. The idea that Men have rapacious sex drives and Women don’t is just garbage.

2). Porn can be awesome for men and women and isn’t quite the bogeyman that it is presented to be… 

The porn industry has some horrible aspects within it but there are also exciting pornographers, producers, sex workers, artists and others who are transforming the industry. I’ll try to point you to ethical, feminist and more progressive types of porn. 

I’ll even review some select adult films for all of you because I’m just a helpful person! 😉 You’re welcome!

3). A lot of stereotypes and traditional beliefs regarding male and female desire, needs and roles are absolute shit and people need to stop waving their shit in every one else’s faces.

OH WAIT…It sounds similar to No. 1… 

I guess I’m thinking about some of the specific attitudes people have promoted: men are visual and need respect; women need love/home/husband, and are slow to become aroused…

Still sounds like No. 1? Fine. 

Maybe I’m just fucking pissed about it and if I want to list No. 1 ten
times, then dammit, that’s what I’m gonna do… 😼😼😼

4). People do and don’t do sex in soooo many different ways and if it is among consenting adults then the world of sexual freedom and practices can be and should be so
much bigger than it is now….

5). The way we as people/groups/corporations/government bodies approach sex, sexual freedom and human rights is ABSOLUTELY tied part and parcel to racism, sexism, privilege, inequality, abuse, poverty, power and a fuckton of evil. 

I try to be intersectional, non-heteronormative, non-ableist, anti-racist, feminist, egalitarian, humanist and ethical. We can and should try to promote sexual health and freedom for everyone. For those of us who dream of a better world, or just want to be responsible humans, we need to acknowledge and address these issues of harm and inequality as we are able.

For a quick and dirty post on these issues, make sure to read Samara’s post, Link should show up here later but for now please find the link to her blog at the top of this post!

Enjoy! 😍😍😍

Smutathon 2017


I love how erotica writers, adult performers and lovers of sex and pleasure have turned the word SMUT into something positive…something, sexy, racy, titillating, pervy, kinky…. the list of smutty goodness goes on!

So for all my sexy, pervy friends here (and I KNOW you are here…yup. I see you!) head over to Smutathon 2017 where a whole group of erotica writers and bloggers have pledged to bang out loads of sexy smut for 12 hours to raise money for 2 great causes. It is going on as we speak. Follow the post below which links to the other fabulously smutty and charity minded bloggers. I understand Smutathon 2017 is also being live tweeted! Check out the post for the appropriate hashtags!

So please check out the 2 charities and consider donating. A few bloggers, like TheOtherLivvy have promised to post sexy pictures for each $100 (British $) donated. It sounds like great fun for 2 great causes!

The Other Livvy

‘Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.’
Helen Keller, The Open Door

You know how I like a challenge? This may be the greatest challenge yet…

Sex-blogger Coffee and Kinkhas come up with a brilliant writing challenge that is also an opportunity to raise money for charity!

I am so excited about this event, and also a little terrified at the prospect of the frenzied, pressured writing that will be necessary on the day. My blog posts usually take several days each – planning, writing, hesitating, and editing before finally publishing, but this challenge needs me to write and publish many, many posts in the 12 hour challenge window. Oh my!

Here is C+K’s description, taken from her blogwith permission, of what the Smutathon will involve…

What: A group of intrepid sex writers – bloggers, erotica authors, sex educators and more – get…

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The love of a dignified woman

I found this erotic post by SamanthaAlexia and I thought it was sooooo very hot.

I think that sometimes Sex should be an act of worship….That is what I see here. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did… ; )


I am drowning in the pool of want
My love, should you pull me out and coax me in your arms

Let me satiate your arousal,

Let me be on my knees and worship you, my king

I am a woman with dignity and hence untethered love for you

Should I feel weak for wanting you to glaze me with your essence and let me shine your grace and glory on my skin

Many would think I am a freak but the truth to that is knowns by you my love, I am an untamed rider, I will ride you dry until the hinges of my hips feel like they will disjoint from each other.

Sometimes I wonder if I was made of rubber, how could you possibly fill yourself into my mouth and let me drink up your essence while deep in my throat.

I am a woman well…

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Happy Pride! Healing from Sexual Shame & “Unlabeled” by Maria Hollis

I have so much love for Maria’s post, below. Read her beautiful post on the joy and excitement of discovering her sexuality and love for women.

For a while now I’ve intended to write a post about the 15+ years that it took me to accept that I am bisexual. I dated guys in high school but I remember the day I first fantasized about a girl. I was so aroused and then afraid. This, I thought, was the one thing that must never be true. It became my secret, my terror and my shame. I told no one.

I considered myself a good Christian girl who wanted to please the angry god I had been told was real. I told no one but my last hope was this: I attended a Christian youth conference with a shaman who could hear from this god and from his sad, less-angry son. The god would send magical messages to special people and they would be healed from their diseases.

My heart crying out in desperation I asked the angry god and his quiet son to speak a magical message to me through his medium. This message would mean this god was real and could save me from the things that made him angry. No mystical words came forth.

I went away to college convinced that the scary devil would lead me away from the angry god. And he did. I met the cutest girl wearing rainbow pride jewelry, a nose-ring on her tiny nose, and sporting a sexy Sinead O’ Connor shaved head. I had to kiss her.

When I kissed her tiny, warm mouth my world turned upside down and I was lost to the angry god because he meant nothing compared to the deliciousness of her kiss. 

But my belief in the angry god and the belief that this god hated all forms of sexual expression, hated any joy or affirmation I found in the arms of another human was more real to me than my love for myself, my mind and my heart.

I abandoned the beautiful girl and I closed my eyes to the handsome boys and the loving humans and followed the angry god for many years. And one day I realized that this god had never been real and I learned to love myself again…..

My story sounds like so many others’ who hid or denied their sexuality but later made their peace with it. I read more about the heartbreak of the queer experience than of the beautiful joy of discovery of attraction, lust, love.

Maria’s experience had and has the elements of fear and shame, too. However, she writes it in a way that encapsulates the glory, excitement and joy of sexual awakening and discovery.

So near the end of Pride month I commend Maria’s heartwarming essay and hope that whatever your orientation or where you are in the journey to claim your sexuality and identity, that it can also be a thing of joy and beauty.



I’m eleven years old when I see two girls kissing in the rain in the middle of a music video. It feels like those times where there is a couple having sex in a movie and you have to pretend nothing is going on or your parents will know that you know what sex is. Every time my mom walks into the room I have this strong need to look away, to change the channel as quick as I can before she thinks I’m like them.

I don’t even know where I learned that this was wrong.

I’m fourteen years old when Marissa Cooper kisses a girl on The O.C. I’m alone in my parents’ bed, as I always do to watch my favorite shows on TV. I hope no one comes in. I hope this awful feeling inside of me goes away.

And I breathe with relief when it’s…

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“I’ll Pleasure You” – (NSFW) VenusandEros on Worshipping Her With His Tongue.

Hello, my sexy friends!

Through online writer’s groups, my personal network of sexy and pervy friends, and connections I’ve made through social media and blogging I’ve had a chance to meet delightful people and writers. It has been exciting to hash out words and concepts, and receive and give advice and critiques with other bloggers and erotica writers.

Following some discussions, a fellow blogger who writes as Venus and Eros , forwarded this piece to me. I love everything about it.

It is about a guy who is away from his lover but delights in the thought that she might fantasize about him as she brings herself to orgasm.

I made minor edits to VenusandEros’ post and picked the title of this post.

Here are some of things I love about this piece.

1)  It is so sexy the way this man lovingly imagines, in tender detail, how he would use his tongue, lips teeth and face to make love to his lover’s pussy, clit and cunt. I love this view, written by a male which shows me how much he appreciates and adores his lover’s delicate anatomy, her scent and her reactions to his ministrations.

2) A lot of women who enjoy receiving oral sex worry about whether their partner likes performing it and worry about a guy’s reaction to their lady parts. Although VenusandEros can’t speak for all men, he is living proof that definitely, there are guys who can’t get enough of a woman’s taste, touch, scent and drawing forth her most delicious orgasm!

3) If you don’t like to read about anal sex then you probably want to skip the last half. If you don’t mind hearing about back-door action and understand that giving and receiving anal sex can be very enjoyable for everyone then maybe you will see what I see.

VenusandEros’ narrator just can’t get enough of his lover’s body, and for the most part is concerned with giving his woman the most epic orgasm. It’s reflected in his probing lovemaking, in the way he looks at her and in the way he wraps himself around her to hold her as they drift off to sleep.


I hope you get off thinking of me.  I love thinking of you giving yourself pleasure.

I wish I could lay between your legs and use my mouth.  I’m really good at using my mouth.  I don’t mean to sound cocky.  I just know how to react to your reactions.  The best give-away is the sweet sounds you make.  And then there is the thing that doesn’t lie, your wetness.

I’d take my time to get you hot and fired up, put my lips over your clitoral area and suck it into my mouth.  And while never losing suction, perhaps only increasing it, my tongue and my teeth would stimulate your jewel.  I’d use my teeth to hold it and stroke it with my tongue.  I’d release it and use my tongue to come back up your u-spot (the area above your urethra opening which leads back up to your clit) and repeat the process.

My instincts would have me devour you, but I’ll hold back just yet.  I may let myself go, releasing myself just a little to shove my whole face into your pussy and rub my face there, covering my face in your delightful juice.  Breathing your scent would make me want to howl like a primal beast but I’ll try to keep it to growls and moans.

And then I’ll pleasure you more.  I’d scoop your ass check into my hand to lift you up and draw you nearer.  When I bring you to orgasm, and I will, you aren’t done yet. As I bring you to orgasm and you try to pull away, I’d hold your ass tight and keep my tongue lightly laid against your clit allowing the waves of your orgasm to course through you again and again, several times.

Then I’d have to take you like I stole you.  I’d throw you on your side and shove your knees into your large sexy breasts. I’d drop to my knees gazing at your ass with a wild look, lift your ass cheek and insert my dripping, rock hard dick inside you.  My arms secure your stomach and back tightly, and as I fuck you I pull your body in towards me as hard as I could so each thrust would hit as hard and deep as possible. As I do this, I can’t take my eyes off of you.  

As I observe myself fucking you, getting even more turned on by your feminine and voluptuous shape, I’d look at your eyes and lock onto yours and never slow my thrust.  I’d fuck you steadily, hard and fast.  I fuck you until my perineal space burns with its desire to fire from my loins into your cunt.  I close my eyes, increasing  the speed and force of my thrust, my groan and scream painting a smile across your face as you feel me cum inside you and the strength of my body subsides.  

I slowly stroke and release the pressure by which I’m holding you.  I look down at you like the treasure you are and I fall down next to you, our combined liquid spilling over both our legs as my dick slides across you.  I smile.  I kiss your back.  I reach my arm over your side, clasping both your breasts, and I fall asleep with you.